Life, Lately

I’ve been absent from my blog for almost half of a year now, just as I was getting back into the swing of blogging during all of 2013.  I’ve felt completely void of creativity, tapped out of meaningful (or even just fun) conversation topics, and I’ve been avoiding my own head.

You see, my sister died on the first of February, suddenly and without any warning, and every second of my days since has been eclipsed by the loss.

Some of my long-time readers may remember when I shared about the loss of my brother when I was barely a teenager.  My last phone conversation with my sister was just a week or two prior to her passing when we had our yearly chat/cry over how much we missed our brother on the anniversary of his death.  We also chatted about planning a family trip to Florida, maybe in the spring, so I could spend time with my three little nieces. To say that the grief I am currently feeling is complicated would be an understatement.

Sleep, work, eat, repeat. The daily grind occupies my mind and keeps me busy enough.  It wouldn’t be fair to claim there haven’t been any good times since Morgan’s passing.  I have amazingly supportive family, friends and coworkers.  My spouse and I still travel and enjoy little things like going out to eat.  My friends made sure my birthday this year was extra fun and special. I am very much looking forward to a summer full of weddings and vacations. I get up in the morning and manage to smile, and mean it most of the time.

But it still hurts like hell. Perhaps the worst part of already having lost a sibling a decade and a half ago is the knowledge of the magnitude of the pain that it brings (a fuck load, excuse my language) and how long this hurt will last (forever).  I have to accept these basic facts all over again.  What is the process of grieving really, if not to accept and understand these two truths?

I’m not ready to talk about the circumstances of her death, or truly dive into my feelings here.  I hope that soon I will be able to come back to my little blog and share the day to day pleasantries that I used to.  I hope that you will all continue to be patient with me, visit again soon, and be well in your daily lives. I wish you all nothing but health and happiness.

Finding Balance

Source

As some of you may have noticed, I’ve been eerily absent from my beloved blog for over a week.  Unfortunately, it’s no coincidence that I also started my new job last Monday.  Work has been exhausting, and I’ve found myself coming home at night too tired to think about setting up a post for the morning, too tired to cook or bake so as to share a recipe, too tired to attempt any of the dozens of DIY projects I have supplies laying around for, too tired to even read the books in my Nook so as to share reviews with you all. Maybe worst of all, I’ve been too tired to even keep up with your blogs, which I really LOVE to read each day.

It seems as though in just the past week, spring has sprung.  The sun stays with us an extra hour (and longer) thanks to a handy little clock adjustment, the temperatures here in NY are steadily in the 60s, the trees have green leaf buds and the daffodils, tulips, and crocuses are out! I’m not the only living creature facing big changes these days.

“Too tired” has gotten me nowhere good.  By avoiding doing the things I love most in life and casting them aside in the name of lounging in pajamas from dinner time until bed and eating my feelings while my husband watches the NCAA championships, I’ve only made myself more tired and unhappy.  I spent a lot of time resting over the weekend, but also spent time with my family and outside in the sunshine.  I feel rejuvenated, and I don’t want this feeling to go away.

I’m determined in the coming weeks to make adjustments to my busy work schedule in attempt to not lose touch with the life I enjoyed so much while unemployed.  I know that certain things will be sacrificed (no matter how I try, I won’t be able to take my dog on our daily lunch-time walks anymore), but I can incorporate more enjoyable activities into my life, especially as the days get longer.  Being the typical A-type personality that I am, I’ve made myself a list of all the little things I’m going to try to accomplish on a weekly basis from here on out that have absolutely nothing to do with work:

  • Start going for a walk or jog with my dog in the evenings, no matter how tired I am, either before or after dinner.
  • Try to cook at least 3 nights a week – going out and ordering out are going to make us go broke!  Any healthy meal will do, no matter how simple.
  • Read for at least 30 minutes before bed any book for pleasure.  Turn off all work-related emails or programs, turn off the television as well, and just read.
  • Plan out the week’s outfits on Sunday, to save time in the morning.
  • Use said “saved time” to actually eat breakfast in the morning, rather than grabbing coffee to drink in the car.
  • Attempt to post on this blog at least twice, if not three times during the week.  Remind myself that I love blogging, and it’s not to be thought of as another chore or more work that needs to get done. I always feel better after I’ve blogged my little heart out.
  • Schedule at least one weeknight dinner with friends and/or with my spouse, to maintain close connections and not lose touch with those that matter most.
  • Wake up each day and count my blessings, no matter what I’m going to be facing at the office that day.  Remind myself how lucky I am to have employment, and that my job is actually pretty great compared to most.

I’m ready to take on this coming week, and not let my job define who I am and what I accomplish. As they say, “work hard, play hard(er)!”

Oh, and to all my fellow bloggers with other full-time day jobs, I’d love to know your secrets as to finding time for it all! I hope everyone had a lovely weekend and a safe St. Patty’s day! xo

Seeing Red

I don’t know about you guys, but I have a serious case of the Mondays today! The only thing motivating me this morning is that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and I still have to prepare.  I know most people loathe the day, and I can completely join in the dissent regarding overpacked and overdecorated restaurants, price hikes on roses, and the tendency for the “holiday” to make single people feel like sh*t.  However, I cannot apologize for my romantic side and I do get a little giddy before Valentine’s Day each year!

I got up this morning and without thinking, put on a red sweater.  I love red any day of the year, especially when it comes to accessorizing or decorating.  Pops of red add brightness and energy to any outfit or living space, and so I naturally tend to gravitate toward the color on a daily basis.  Valentine’s day is just a fun excuse to throw red and pink together, and put red in the spotlight rather than as an accent color!  Here’s a quick Etsy inspiration board I put together for the holiday.  Go ahead and get in the spirit with me 😉

From Top Left, Row by Row:

Are you in the Valentine’s Day spirit too?  Wishing you all a lovely start to your week. xo

Protest the Stop Online Piracy Act!

Many websites are blacked out today to protest proposed U.S. legislation that threatens internet freedom: the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and the Protect IP Act (PIPA). From personal blogs to Wikipedia, sites all over the web — including this one — are asking you to  help stop this dangerous legislation from being passed. Please watch the video below to learn how this legislation will affect internet freedom.

 

You may notice the ribbon on the top right corner of my blog.  The ribbon will stay as a sign of protest until the 24th, when Congress votes on the Bill.

Please take a few minutes to head over to americancensorship.org and take action. It only takes a few moments of your time to be an agent of change!